The
Evolution of Tarzan Jane Syndrome, (TJS)
I don’t know that there will ever be a cure for Tarzan Jane Syndrome
(TJS) and yet it seems to be an epidemic that’s been passed on from generation
to generation. This particular syndrome has survived for millions of years and although
it has evolved substantially through the years…TJS still infects women of all social
statures.
TJS, in the beginning…Something created man and woman and
their need for love.
Man-Tarzan. Woman-Jane…Tarzan loves his Cave-Mother, Jane.
He soon grows older and starts to desire his own Jane. He sees his first girl
Jane playing in the trees in a nearby jungle. Tarzan has strong overwhelming urges
to track-down this cute looking Jane. She’s young and fit and nothing like his Cave-Mother
Jane and when he looks at her. he feels strong and wants to protect
her. Tarzan can’t control his desires to be with girl-Jane. He sniffs around her. He loves how girl-Jane smells. He swings with girl-Jane for a couple days. Each time he's with girl-Jane, his desires to drag her by the hair to his cave gets stronger. Soon he ask girl-Jane, “May I take your hair in my strong hands?
You make my loincloth hard. I want to drag you to my den. I want to make roaring
hot fire with you.”
Jane could not resist Tarzan’s charm. Her desires to be his Cave
Wife and bare his jungle children were all she could think about. So Jane agreed to lets her strong-handed Caveman have her hair. 
Jane soon started cleaning up
Tarzan’s man cave, giving it a cave woman's touch. Jane slept at his cave a few
more cold nights. Soon Jane was at his cave pad nearly day and night. Jane made Tarzan’s life easy; she was there
whenever Tarzan wanted her.
Tarzan started to feel Jane was now hunting him and he would soon be eaten by Jane. He decided he’s done with this girl-Jane. This Jane started to remind him of his mother and his loincloth never got hard around his mother. Tarzan
couldn’t control his urges to free himself from his sweet, always there for him
Jane, and hunt for a new girl Jane.
Tarzan realizes there was no need to keep old girl Jane
around any longer. Tarzan could see there were plenty of strange Jane's’ in the
jungle.
Tarzan’s older brother stopped over to give him advice, “Little
brother, it is the most fun when you hunt for the girl Jane that is hardest to catch.
Father told me, that mom was so hard to catch that he almost died trying. She had
the most cavemen in the jungle and she didn’t give her hair to any of them. She
made them all carry her water baskets, bring her their fresh catch of the day, she
made them build her fire at night and then made them go to their own cave. So
dad had to be stronger and faster than all the other cavemen to get her hair in marriage.
Cave Father worked so hard to catch Cave
Mom that once he caught her, he did whatever he had to do to keep her happy. Mom was
his finest trophy. Dad said catching the fastest, strongest, most ferocious
tiger didn’t even come close to the work it took to catch his cave bride.” Tarzan
listened to the wise words of his brother. “So, if a girl Jane treats you bad
and other cavemen want her too, that’s the girl Jane I should hunt?” Tarzan
asked, to make sure he understood what a caveman should do to snag his forever cave
bride. “Yes! Nice, easy to hunt Jane-bad...ferocious, hard to catch Jane-Good.”
Tarzan’s brother confirmed the ways of nature as they both prepared their
weapons for their hunt for food the next morning.
Now Tarzan knew just what he must do to be a caveman just
like his father. And the next day Tarzan tossed Jane over the nearest tall
rocky cliff. Without as much as saying good-bye, Tarzan hurried back to his
cave to watch the Tigers verses Gazelles. He cracked open a nice cold coconut, made a warm fire, roasted
a wild boar for dinner, played with his monkey, slept and was ready to start
his hunt for a new hard to catch Jane the next day. 
Jane on the other hand… Plummeting off yet another rocky cliff
after a few dates with a hunky caveman who she was sure was “The One”. Midair,
her new leopard fur dress caught on a tree branch growing out of the side of steep
cliff breaking her fall. Her perfect sized hips for riding Buffalo cushioned
her backside as she hit the torturous terrain below. The branch had ripped off
her clothes leaving Jane exposed wearing nothing but her push-up grape leaves
and ivy-fern panties. She bounced twice, before landing in the middle of a
man-eating piranha infested mucky river. However, Jane, like a spawning salmon,
she beautifully uses the breast stroke to fight the current upstream battle
that lay ahead.
Once on stable ground, Jane, snatched a piranha from the
water with her bare hands; uses the piranha’s teeth to comb and style her hair.
Soon, after designing a new line of women’s fashionable jungle attire, she
negotiated with the King of the Jungle to donate his gorgeous thick mane to her
charitable foundation, “Locks of Mane”.
Combining efforts with a strong political group, Alligator’s
Unit, Jane donated hundreds of pairs of shoes and purses to the surrounding
Cave Schools for those Cave Kids that have Caveman Fathers who were eaten for
lunch while hunting for dinner.
Jane’s new haute couture, Palm Fronds and Monarch Butterfly
fall collection, rocketed to number one in the exclusive Neanderthal’s Fashion
week. As an inspiration to young Cave Girl’s Jane was featured in the June issue
of Modern Day Jungle magazine.
Finally, after years of seeking spiritual guidance from a highly
respected Shaman, Jane worked through her dysfunctional childhood issues. Jane realizes
she was a self-sufficient, highly successful Cave Woman. However, Jane also had needs and wanted to be
in a relationship. So Jane swung over to Tarzan her ex-BF’s den for a quick one night romp in the cave. Only this time after sex...Jane threw herself off the
cliff to save time.
TJS has been around since the beginning of time and continues
to plague women of all cultures.
No comments:
Post a Comment